Only in the olden days…

Ruh roh shaggy…

Only in the heart of Redneck country…

Chestnuts roasting on an open turkey fire….

via videosift.com

They should have left this in.

Ah I miss ya Carlin. I really wish I’d gone to see him the last time he was in town.

Hmmm… I wonder which is the lesser crime, letting an employee get trampled to death or straws in phallic shapes.

I think I’ll pardon the snail squishing around in walking path outside in a moment.

Monopoly Man falls on some hard times

Yahtzee reviews Guitar Hero World Tour

Yyyeah…

K that would be a wee bit freaky to walk through…

Must get a Wii!!! (aka we should move Black Friday deals to ONLINE ONLY)

You don’t see many Presidents doing this… you know, caring.

OH SNAP!

Still need to see this… I’mma bad Atheist.

Quite a kick.

Goodbye first amendment… It was fun times.

5 things Bush should but won’t do prior to leaving office.

Why do we call this the Pedo Show? This is why this is the Pedo Show.

Levitating Water

Just a reminder, Black Friday, Online Only.

What’s your game face?

Worker dies at Long Island Wal-Mart after being trampled in Black Friday stampede

2 Shot Dead at California Toys R Us

First of all, I’ve never really liked the idea of having a day that was meant for the shoppers to find the best deals of the year.  On paper it looks retarded and in practice it shows how low American standards and values are.  But these two above stories just pissed me off.

You people disgust me… you people who think that it is so important to get that one fucking inexpensive video game for your kid that you are willing to hurt others in the process.  And these aren’t the first incidents that have happened since Black Friday became this gore-fest for ignorant people.  These two stories just pushed me over the top.

I wish that they would outlaw Black Friday.  It is obviously nothing more than an excuse for businesses to try and make money and for people to show just how low they will stoop to get the best deal they can.

Shame on you.

Indrid
5:52 AM

The simplest answer is this, people pirate games due to many reasons, most however pirate games because so many games are marketed to hell and back, hyped like crazy and once the game actually comes out it may or may not be worth a gamers hard earned cash. The fact that PSP Piracy is showing a slowdown is very simple, not since Crisis Core and Monster Hunter has a PSP game been on anyone’s radar - plain and simple. Really, not a single game since those mentioned above have peaked anyone’s interest, even game pirates.

Indrid
6:35 AM

I just had another thought, I have a PSP and for me the next title that’s on my radar for it is the Star Ocean remakes coming out soon. So once those are released, I think you’ll see a slight upturn in PSP piracy.

Although really, you have to think of digital media piracy in general as well.

1: Book piracy isn’t that big because books are relatively cheap plus the authors that write books make a relatively good amount of money from the sales of their books. This is changing however because book publishers are getting more greedy with the new trend towards electronic methods of reading books.

2: Movie piracy is huge because movie theater tickets are pretty pricey, plus theaters in general are not even close to the best method to take in a story with cell phones, whining kids and those jerks that just won’t shut up. This will continue to be the trend until movie theaters offer an experience people can’t get from their 47″ HDTVs at home.

3: Software piracy is massively out of control because well, that’s where it all started. Plus there are programs out there that cost WAAAAY more than they’re worth. I mean Photoshop CS4 for $700, are you ******* KIDDING me?

4: Music piracy is rampant because of two very distinct reasons. The RIAA being all up in everyone’s faces with allegations that this song they downloaded 12 years ago off Napster somehow lost them millions of dollars. The second is because people like me like music, we also like to know what our money is going towards. Once you’ve done the math and looked at real world figures you learn that when you pay $15 for a Smashing Pumpkins CD, $.05 of that actually ends up in the bank account of the Smashing Pumpkins. The rest ends up fueling the bad investments and lawsuits of the aforementioned RIAA record producers. Both of these reasons once you learn about them will turn anyone into a music pirate.

5: Game piracy exists because let’s face it, 95% of games made today are not, I repeat NOT worth $49-$59. End of story. Recently there was a study done that found that only 5% of games made actually turn a profit. Do you see a correlation here? Maybe it’s because only 5% of games made are actually worth $59.

Please say SOMEONE agrees with me on all of this…

Wait… what?

Yes, everything you’ve heard is true…

Wow…

Toyota’s new i-Real, I love the use of the Tron theme…

Aeida!!!

Call of Duty, South Park style

Colbert on Letterman

Let’s get one thing straight…

And now, I’ll end on something rare. Follow your dreams, don’t let anything stop you.

Before getting started let me briefly mention this is a review of the PC version of Red Alert 3. The 360 version is a completely different beast and I tend to shy away from console RTS games. We all know these games should be played with a mouse and keyboard. Okay, let’s touch on the story. A lot of you who know me or have read my previous reviews will notice historically I find a game’s storyline to be just as important as the game itself. Red Alert has always been Westwood’s (now EA’s) “alternate reality” RTS war game featuring the Russians and the United States going to full blown war with each other. In the previous Red Alert games there were always certain mainstays that EA felt they’d stay faithful to in Red Alert 3, these being FMV live-action cut scenes and in-game units that I’d relate to “going balls out” meaning they’re very unrealistic but fun. Those of you that loved Red Alert for it’s cut-scenes will love that EA really got together some excellent Hollywood talent to play the main characters in the game. Here’s a quick rundown of the main cast:

Premier Anatoly Cherdenko: Played by Tim Curry. Premier Cherdenko doesn’t start out as premier until the time lines get mixed up. Him and the other main Russian character, General Krukov travel back in time and kill Albert Einstein. When the two return, they both learn that this act rewrote history and the Soviet Union is once again returned to its status of a global super power with technology to match that of the current United States. Krukov also learns that he is now the Soviet Union’s greatest General. Cherdenko is a communist propagandist, he’ll use any methods to conceal the truth and coax all to blindly follow his vision without question. Also, I feel he’s the main character of the game since well, he’s Tim Curry. Tim Curry is the shit.

Dr. Gregor Zelinsky: Played by Peter “Un-pimp jo auto” Stormare. The scientist that develops the Time Machine Cherdenko and Krukov use to go back in time. Being that Zelinsky traveled back in time with the two and wasn’t altered when the time lines got all messed up, he knows about the alteration of time and he really just wants to set things right again.

President Howard T. Ackerman: Played by J.K. Simmons of Spiderman fame. President Ackerman is about as anti-communist as a human being can get. Recently elected as US President, Ackerman’s first act is to “strengthen” the Allied forces in Western Europe to protect the allied nations against “The red menace”, “The commie bastards” and to “Send the commies back to their mommies”. I think you get the point.

Emperor Yoshiro: Played by George Takei. One of the side effects of Einstein’s death happening too early was that Nuclear weapons were never created and thus the Japanese never surrendered during World War II. The ramifications of this are seen directly in the Empire of The Rising Sun faction, led by Emperor Yoshiro. The Emperor is an honor purist, plain and simple. He believes that the only path forward is to destroy the Gaijin (barbarian) threat. That means everyone but them. The Empire has advanced technology, greater forces and a naval fleet unimaginable in size.

There are a few other characters in the game that do play a main role in the storyline, but I felt the main faction leaders mentioned above would be enough to get to know each faction. There are a few exceptions I feel do deserve to be mentioned however, those are the Sub-commanders and analysts that work with you through the single player campaigns who all happen to be uber-hawt chicks. (with the exception of Jenny McCarthy and the UFC chick of course - Bleh)

These ladies will be with you all the way through the campaigns. First we have Special Agent Tanya played by Jenny McCarthy, Dasha Fedorovich played by Ivana Milicevic, Lt. Eva McKenna played by Gemma Atkinson, Cmdr. Lissette Hanley played by Autumn Reeser, Suki Toyama played by Kelley Hu, Natasha Volkova played by UFC fighter Gina Carano and Commander Zhana played by Vanessa Branch.

Okay, enough cast members and story, let’s talk about the game. Red Alert 3 encompasses 3 single player campaigns with you playing either the Russians, the Allies or the Empire. Each unit has it’s strengths and weaknesses just like every other RTS game which you work out as the game progresses. Now, I don’t know of you knew this, but I wrote a Supreme Commander review around this time last year. That game I gave high marks because it tried to innovate the way RTS games play, how they’re controlled and the level of graphics they delivered. Red Alert 3 is made with a slightly tweaked C&C3 engine with the only real “tweaks” you’ll notice is in the water graphics and animation which I must say are pretty good looking if it weren’t for everything else looking same-y. The music in the game is exactly what you’d expect from 3 different campaigns featuring 3 different modern cultures.

Let me break off talking about the features of the game and talk about RTS games in general. Someone who will read this will assuredly agree with me when I say that the RTS genre hasn’t had any major innovations since Supreme Commander and those innovations haven’t been used by anyone else. To be honest with you, I feel game developers are just doing the same tried and true things over and over again and it’s making me sick of this genre in general. I do like RTS games and I had fun with the single player campaigns in RA3, but that was mainly due to the storyline and cut scenes, not the game itself.

Here’s what I think the RTS genre needs to reinvigorate itself - meld the FPS genre with the RTS. Yes I know they tried this once with C&C: Renegade, but I think we can all agree that it was a poor melding. What I’m talking about here would be online skirmishes with several players taking up squadron command with an interface that gave them direct control over what their squad does. Then, give one or two real strategist players command over the entire battlefield on each side where they can launch bombardments, issue orders to squad leaders, queue up new units that are used most effectively by squad commanders and generally run the strategy elements of the game. I’d also like to see squad commanders be able to use vehicles that are created with resources gathered by the commander. While I’m at it, why don’t we see more walking armored tank units in these games? I mean Supreme Commander got away with it and I’m pretty sure Microsoft doesn’t own the rights to mech-like units in games completely. Okay, I’m sure you’re wondering how a game like this would work in single player, well it would be basically the same as above but all the squads would be computer controlled. Now, that’s not all, I think making it so you as commander should be able to take control and shift your view to any specific squad leader’s view at any time for more precise attacking and defending. While I’m at it, whoever over at THQ made the interface for Supreme Commander should be hired to build the interface for this game. He did an excellent job and the radical idea of making the game like a giant Google map you can zoom into and back out again eliminated the need for a minimap.

Now, I won’t say that RA3 has no innovation at all, there is one thing I found in the game that was new. At most times during the single player campaign you have a second computer controlled commander that’s following you sometimes and holding the line at other times. Although the system that’s driving this second commander isn’t very smart when it’s following you and when it’s holding the line, it makes me think that this line battle shouldn’t exist at all since it has no bearings on you what so ever.

Why you should play it: I know a few people that spent a LOT of time playing C&C games with friends and instantly fell in love with the series. Those people will still love Red Alert 3. Also those out there that like their RTS games more relaxed and entertaining while not demanding so much in the way of actual strategy will find RA3 right up their alley.

Why you shouldn’t play it: Let’s face it, RTS games are a niche genre. Some like them, some don’t. Those that don’t should just skip it since there really isn’t anything new to see here, move along. Those out there that do like RTS games but prefer them to be more in depth like Civilization or Alpha Centauri, those should also skip RA3 since it just isn’t demanding or engaging enough from a strategy standpoint.

And just because I know all the guys out there want to see more…

Luke’s Aunt and Uncle weren’t as crazy as they seemed it looks like. Most geeks out there (or at least Star Wars nerds) will remember that Cliegg Lars and his wife Shmi - along with his son Owen and Owen’s wife Beru - maintained a moisture farm on Tatooine. Well, it looks like that is a bit more of a reality now.

Element Four, a group of Canadian eco-inventors, has invented a machine that is able to extract moisture from the air and turn it into drinkable water. This may sound like it could be a machine that wouldn’t work for most people in most homes, but it actually only uses the same amount of electricity as running 3 light bulbs. What if I live in the middle of a polluted city? No worries! The machine is able to purify even the nastiest city air into tasty, clean water.

The WaterMill is able to pull the moisture from the air, run it through various filters to clean out any dust, pollution and any other harmful particles and spit water out for you for merely three to four cents per liter. Who needs to pay $1.39 for that Aquafina when you can just suck it out of the air?

The WaterMill goes for about $1200, but if you think about how much money you may pay to filter the water you have now or buy the insanely expensive bottled water, this unit could easily pay for itself.

Moisture farming will never be the same again.

No no no… it’s what goes around comes around.

Glorious…

You tell em Kirk

It’s good to see big news personalities aren’t overly serious.

Most subtle attention whore ever…

If I saw this, I’d be thinking “OH SHIT!”

More of the above

Utterly pathetic… This is also why I don’t like this show… at all.

More fun with Game Physics

You have GOT to be kidding me… (of course it’s CG but damn…)

It’s all clammy and tomato-y

BOOOORING!

So let me get this straight… you have an issue with a group that doesn’t believe in your god, but you’re fine with another group that doesn’t believe in your god?

I didn’t know Merlin worked at CERN

About fucking time…

…

I sense a lawsuit…

How could this gimmick have POSSIBLY failed?

Stop bastardizing my childhood CollegeHumor!

Yahtzee reviews Fallout 3

I nominate Ron Paul for Secretary of The Treasury

O_O

Wow… he actually made a legitimate point.

That’s right, you tell those damn bunnies!

Left 4 Dead takes place in the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse within a city that’s been quarantined to help stop the spread of the infection. Each campaign of the game takes place during 4 different movie-themed scenarios taking place in different locations over the course of around 5 stages each:

No Mercy: The No Mercy campaign finds you on the rooftop of an obliterated apartment complex, deep in the heart of the once-thriving metropolis of Fairfield—now completely overrun with hordes of Infected. A voice from a bullhorn calls out from a rescue helicopter: Get to the roof of nearby Mercy Hospital and be airlifted to safety. Even if it means shooting your way through narrow alleys, open sewers and seething waves of zombies to get there.

Death Toll: Shoot, shove and sprint through a nightmare suburbia consumed by the Infected horde. The Death Toll campaign has your team of survivors making their way down a turnpike littered with abandoned cars to the nearby ghost town of Riverside—the site of a failed stand-off between the last of humanity and a limitless swarm of undead. Fight through the ruins of small town America to the waterfront nearby, where a rescue party can take you upriver to safety.

Dead Air: Guide your team of Survivors out of the downtown core of Newburg’s business district, through derelict office floors and still-inhabited cubicles, and out onto the runway of Metro International Airport, where the only thing standing between you and the last plane out of the city is a murderous army of the undead.

Blood Harvest: Zombies lurk behind every tree, over every hilltop and behind every shadow in this terrifying moonlit search for a rumored evacuation zone to the north: several acres of back-country farmland taken over by the military to get the last of humanity out of Ground Zero. Plunge through pitch-black forests, stumble blindly through fields of swaying corn, and take aim at the silhouettes leaping at you from the darkness—all towards finding a hold-out that might already have been abandoned to the horde.

When you jump into a game you have the choice of playing as 4 different characters:

Louis: Louis had been working up the courage to quit his job as Junior Systems Analyst at his company’s IT department when a virus showed up and downsized the world. Now Louis has a new set of goals (live long enough to succeed) and a new set of tools (guns, sharp objects) to help him achieve them. With any luck, he’ll figure out how the new management operates before they get a chance to murder him.

Francis: Cocky, loud, and pretty sure he’s indestructible, Francis acts like the zombie apocalypse is the world’s biggest bar fight. When the virus hit, everybody else stockpiled food and looked for a place to hide. Francis found a gun and had some fun. No cops, no laws, no order—if it wasn’t for all the zombies, he could almost get used to life like this.

Zoey: After spending her first semester holed up in a dorm room watching old horror movies, Zoey was given a choice: Stop fooling around and get her grades up, or drop out. Now that the planet’s overrun with murderous zombies, and all of her professors are dead, Zoey at least has the cold comfort that she’s been studying up on the right subject after all.

Bill: It took two eventful tours in Vietnam, a handful of medals, a knee full of shrapnel, and an honorable discharge before the unthinkable happened: Bill ran out of wars. But now an army of infected undead has declared war on humanity. After decades of aimless drifting and dead-end jobs, Bill’s finally gotten back the only thing he ever wanted: an enemy to fight.

Or if you’re playing a VS game, 4 different Infected:

The Boomer: The fat, slow Boomer vomits a thick bile with two side effects: It blinds Survivors, and it attracts hordes of Infected. When Boomers are killed, they explode, showering bile on anyone nearby. Get close to Survivors when attacking. Even if you miss, they might not.

The Smoker: Smokers work best from an out-of-sight vantage point. Ensnaring Survivors from rooftops leaves them helpless and hanging—perfect targets for a pounce or vomit attack from a teammate.

The Hunter: Hunters are a mutated breed of zombie—faster, fiercer and far more dangerous than common Infected. Keep your ears perked—a shriek from the darkness means a Hunter is near, and ready to pounce in for the kill.

The Tank: Mutated through infection, the Tank’s only strategy is brute force. Find the Survivors. Pummel them to death. Repeat. Healthy Survivors can run slightly faster than you. Try to trap them in tight areas, or use a thrown chunk of concrete to stun them.

There’s also a 5th zombie type, but you can’t play as her for reasons defined in her description:

The Witch: Witches only want to be left alone so they can enjoy a good cry. They hate flashlights and loud noises, but what they hate more than anything is being shot at. If you hear the Witch’s tell tale sobs, turn off your flashlights and try to sneak around her. If she starts to get angry, her growl will let you know she’s close to attacking.

The main goal of the game is simple - survive long enough to escape from the city. Each campaign has a different end objective and some aren’t apparent until close to the end of the campaign. Although in each level your objective is to make it to a safe room at the end of the level with a big red steel door. Inside the room will be med-kits, ammo and different weapons to choose from. Now, there really aren’t that many weapons in the game with I think 8 total with 2 grenade type weapons, but knowing Valve as well as I do, I’m almost certain they’ll be adding more down the road so it isn’t that big of an issue. I’m also 100% certain they’ll be adding more campaigns over time as well since 4 seems a little small, however 360 owners can expect a charge for these since Microsoft’s greedy. Although with those 4 there’s nearly endless fun to be had because of a little bit of code Valve added to the game called The Director.

Let’s talk about The Director a little bit. In short, the director is the game’s balance AI. Those of you that have played the game on Extreme will know it as the asshole making shit go bad for you. While playing through any of the 4 campaigns you’ll notice that the placement of zombies is different every time. The reason for this is the director, it changes what’s impeding your path based off several factors such as health, ammunition and how “safe” you are. Now what do I mean by “safe” you say? well here’s something I love about Left 4 Dead’s Director: Just when you think you have things under control and feel relatively safe, you’re not. I can’t really describe it aside from saying every moment I felt like it was too quiet, a massive zombie attack would smash through the doors and windows along with at least 1 of the named zombies above.

Left 4 Dead also adds something new to the world of gaming in giving a single player game a multiplayer angle. Yes you can play the game by yourself with 3 bots, but you’ll have the most fun letting 3 other players fill those three spots. I’ve played a good number of online games and I don’t know, it’s as if Left 4 Dead forces players to play cooperatively rather than being dicks to one another. I mean I really really enjoyed playing through an entire campaign with 3 other people. Plus, because they were helpful and weren’t complete jerks, I was more inclined to play to the end. Although I played the PC version and we all know about the “quality” of Xbox Live gamers.

Those of you familiar with the normal Valve server browser will complain a little bit when you see the interface when you go looking to play an online game. Mostly it looks more reminiscent of the console FPS style interface with “quickplay” and “custom game” options. Now, I know it’s the day of the game’s release and all, but whenever I tried to start a game today, it took FOR-EV-ER to find a dedicated server to play on. Finally I just said screw it and hosted the game locally since my system could easily handle the load. Hopefully this will die down once people stop bogging down the servers or Valve starts hosting more games.

Now I must take note that the 4 survivors mentioned above are the only side of the game I’ve been playing so far, but I’ve heard from many sources that playing as the infected in VS games is basically letting you fuck with another gamers’ experience. That to me sounds like a lot of fun and I intend to try it out tomorrow.

Why you should buy it: Did you like Team Fortress 2? Do you like zombies? Do you want to play a game where you’re encouraged to join a game and mess with others? Then you’ll like Left 4 Dead quite a lot. The game has plenty of replayability and I expect it to have just as much if not more future additions from Valve as TF2 has enjoyed. Even if they don’t, the fact the game always changes things up to keep you on your toes will keep you playing it for a long, long time.

Why you shouldn’t buy it: Well, put simply if you hate FPS games like one person I know in particular does, you probably won’t enjoy L4D that much. Although really, I think the prospect of a game that keeps the experience fresh and new would be enough for me to try at least this one.

Left 4 Dead is available now on Xbox 360 and PC. Those of you the want to play it via PC should get it through Steam since there’s a new “Everything Valve” package for $99 that includes EVARY game valve has put onto Steam. That includes: Counter-Strike, Team Fortress Classic, Day of Defeat, Deathmatch Classic, Half-Life: Opposing Force, Ricochet, Half-Life, Counter-Strike: Condition Zero, Half-Life: Blue Shift, Half-Life 2, Counter-Strike: Source, Half-Life: Source, Day of Defeat: Source, Half-Life 2: Deathmatch, Half-Life 2: Lost Coast, Half-Life Deathmatch: Source, Half-Life 2: Episode One, Portal, Half-Life 2: Episode Two, Team Fortress 2, Left 4 Dead and Peggle Extreme. *takes labored breaths* That’s a LOT for 99 bones, especially considering the PC version of Left 4 Dead is $49 on it’s own. I’d also like to offer my condolences to those forced to buy the 360 version of the game since it’s $59… I dunno, PC gamers get all the love.

Tornadoooooo PUNCH!

I’d like to pass the question Chuck…

Wow, this is gonna be good.

The future of hidden camera shows…

You go Bill

Awww I’ve always wanted to do that…

Wow… really?

Just your average day in Japan… FIGHT!

Best use of a V8 engine ever.

Oh by the way Left 4 Dead is out…

Death Knights

This, for me was one of the most appealing things about the new World of Warcraft expansion. Northrend didn’t hold as much fervor for me since it seems a little same-y. But I’ll leave Earl to have the last say on that. The Death Knight is the first of the Hero classes. Originally Blizzard intended Hero classes to be added in as original World of Warcraft content but it became too complex for them to deliver it in a timely manner. The Hero classes were originally going to be a choice for people at a specific level, basically allowing warriors to become Death Knights, Warlocks to become Liches, Rogues to become Blade Masters and so on… I was happy with that route although I’m happy that Blizzard took the path they did of making it so you could start a new hero class character if you have a character on that realm of a specific level. In this case the level being 55. Originally it was also hinted that Death Knights would be unlocked by completing a quest line on your main character, though they decided to do away with that need since a good portion of the new WoTLK content was the Death Knight. Anyways, enough history - let’s get right down to it.

As a Death Knight you start off in a previously non-existent area of Eastern Plaguelands east of Tyr’s Hand called New Avalon. After the intro cut-scene voiced by the original (now dead) intro narrator, you gain control of your Death Knight in a necropolis floating above New Avalon called The Ebon Hold and directly in front of you is, you guessed it, the Lich King himself. He also happens to be your first quest giver and sends you to create your rune blade.

The rune blade itself is a major part of the Death Knights gameplay. As a Death Knight your skills and abilities mostly rely on the runes etched into your blade. Starting a fight you have 2 Blood, 2 Frost and 2 Unholy runes that get used up by most of your skills. Some of these skills will give you a 4th wild-card rune called a Death rune which can be used as any of the other three. These replenish after 10 seconds so if you know your math and are good with timing, you’ll be an excellent Death Knight. Using these rune-based skills also gives you Runic Power, which certain other skills use. These skills are a little more powerful and are intended as mid to end fight skills. After you create your Rune Blade, you’re instructed to forge the runes of your choosing into the blade using the provided rune forges in Ebon Hold. This is another thing exclusive to Death Knights - Runeforging. This skill allows you to change up how your weapon works in fights and requires no materials to do, although these Runeforges are only in Ebon Hold and are required to change your weapon, so no changing on the fly is allowed. Finally you return to the Lich King and he sends you down to New Avalon to exact death and destruction on the Scarlet Crusade below.

In the camp below Ebon Hold there are quest givers, mostly telling you to kill X number of these or gather X number of this item. Although one in particular stands out above the others which is the quest that grants you use of your Ebon Steed. This quest involves you going down into the town, stealing a horse, bringing it back and slaughtering it. The quest giver then sends you into the Nether Realm to fight a spirit steed and the end result is a free, no hassle epic riding mount free of charge. In the process of doing all these Death Knight quests, you may notice that the area of New Avalon changes. That’s because the area is instanced and changes every time a quest directs you to return to the Ebon Hold. If you’re doing these quests with a buddy and you’re wondering why you can’t see him even though the map says you’re in the same place, either you or him are behind the other and one of you needs to catch up. The different phases help illustrate the effect the Scourge has on New Avalon. The first is the initial battle and the lines are drawn in a farm just north of the town itself. In the second the Scourge has moved further down into the Town proper and continue to fuck shit up. In the third the town and the surrounding areas are pretty much decimated and rampant with undead ghouls with no human trace in sight. It’s during this final phase that the fight moves to Light’s Hope Chapel where an epic battle takes place that you’re a part of and something happens which I choose not to spoil since it’s filled with Lore bits and the end result being you no longer in the service of the Lich King. It’s at this point that you’re directed to either Orgrimmar or Stormwind based off your race and a letter written by the leader of the Ebon Hold. When you get there via a portal and walk into town you don’t receive a very good reception. People throw food and rocks at you, comment to “get a rope” and you’re stuck walking through the gauntlet of pissed off people. Once you get to the Warchief or King, you’re welcomed into the Horde/Alliance and this marks the point where the Death Knight starting quests end.

Now, as I write this I’m only level 64 and I’m completing the Outland content. Although from reading and research I’ve discovered that Blizzard’s pretty much dropped the Death Knight into the game without a lot of end game content. Raid sets and PvP honor sets are non-existent and you’re also stuck training your trade skills with the exception of First Aid up, which I’m sure all Death Knights will do at a heavy price. The blue equipment you get from the starting quests can carry you to 68 easily without needing anything new, but should you decide to get new equipment, expect to lose that iconic Death Knight look. Content-wise, those Death Knight starting quests are some of the best and most interesting quests I’ve ever experienced in World of Warcraft. Also I’d like to add that the Death Knight is WAAAY overpowered and is likely to be get nerfed very soon so get in there and get one to 80 as soon as you can. I say this is from personal experience - I can kill things equal to my level in 10 seconds with barely any heath lost. Also, my girlfriend told me she ran a party consisting of herself (a level 70 Holy Priest) and 4 level 60 Death Knights through Hellfire Ramparts and she didn’t need to heal anyone except keeping Renew on them during fights.

Why should you get it? - Enough people play WoW now to equal a small nation (11 Million). Those of you that have been playing and left have your reasons. Some leave because of the lack of content, some leave because they have other things in their life to deal with aside from WoW. If you’re the first, you’ll be happy to know that a new class you’ve never played and an entire new continent of content to grind through is a very tempting prospect. It temped me since I now have some free time to play. There are of course those in the latter group who no matter how tempting it is will buy it because let’s face it, World of Warcraft is something that removes you from your real life. It can be casual but anyone will agree that to get anywhere, you need to devote a good amount of uninterrupted time to it. To those people you have my condolences and know that I can say I know how it is.

Why shouldn’t you get it? - I can personally say that World of Warcraft in general is addicting for some people. I know people personally that spend entirely too much time playing this game and their real lives have suffered pretty harshly for it. Those of you that feel you might be prone to addictions of any sort should not, I repeat not play this game. There are also some of you that use World of Warcraft as a tool for your need to socialize. Well… to those people I say this: Go outside and make some real friends with whom you can get to know on a personal face-to-face level. When you remove the graphics, quests and lore World of Warcraft is a glorified AOL chat room complete with A/S/L and spammers. I can say from personal experience the need for friends, a computer and anonymity in any form is a recipe for epic failure.

Northrend

Stepping off of the zeppelin and into the bustle of Warsong Hold, I couldn’t help but be overpowered by the sights, sounds and smells. Freshly cut wood had been used to build the Hold, men working, sweating in front of burning fires, warriors preparing for war. I kneeled upon the upper platform and gazed upon the mass… and I couldn’t help but smile…

Okay, enough with the Role-playing. But in all reality, that’s just about how I felt when I first stepped off of the zeppelin and looked around the Borean Tundra. This could also be in part due to the fact that I upgraded my computer from a single hamster-wheel driven system to 4 hamster-wheel driven system… but that’s beside the point.

Northrend is - of course - the new continent for the World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King expansion. It consists of new factions, new races, new items and thousands of new quests for you to enjoy. You also get to enjoy many new quest lines. There is far too much for me to go into here, so I am just going to jump into my “review so far” of what I’ve seen.

So far I am incredibly impressed with what I’ve seen in this expansion. When Burning Crusade came along, people were incredibly upset that they would have epic items from 40 man raids that they spent weeks or months gaining only to be replaced by a level 62 green item that dropped off the fourth boar that you killed. Blizzard got smarter and made sure that your gear lasted quite a bit longer. So far I’ve only replaced 2 items on my main character (who is level 74) and those were more of a side-grade where I would lose stats in one area to gain stats in another. Nothing, thus far, has been an absolute upgrade (and I only had Karazhan/Zul’aman/Badge gear). So if you’re worried about replacing your gear quickly after spending time in Black Temple, Hyjal and The Sunwell… don’t. It will take some time.

I’ve also noticed that the quests are much better. Sure, you still have your “kill-10-boars-and-come-back” quests, but most of the quests that you do will have a meaning behind them. Even if you kill 10 boars, there will be a reason you do it, and that reason will ultimately end up climaxing to some small peak where something interesting happens. So don’t worry so much about mindless quests, most of the quests you end up doing will be more enjoyable than in the Burning Crusade.

Now the instances… this is where I get a bit torn. I’ve only been in a few instances so far and I have to say that they are incredible looking. One of the first instances that you can do is The Nexus. This has to be one of the most visually appealing instances I’ve ever seen. The Azjol-Nerub instances look great and the whole spider-centric feel is perfect for them. Climbing up webs, watching spider eggs shake… perfect.

However, I am a bit disappointed that the instances seem so short. Sure, some of the instances in the Burning Crusades were short, but I don’t remember stepping into Ramparts for the first time and going through it in 30 minutes like I’ve done with a couple of instances in Northrend already. Hopefully it is just Blizzard’s way of appealing to the casuals (and I am more or less one of them) but they plan on increasing the difficulty at some point before the end.

And finally, on a smaller note, flight paths. Flight paths have always been an issue with everyone. I think Blizzard finally figured it out as there are many, MANY flight paths to be had in Northrend. If you want to go somewhere, you will most likely have a flight path nearby to run to and a flight path near where you need to be. This is one of the biggest upgrades for me as I’ve always hated running or riding all over the damn map.

So all-in-all, this is a great expansion. I don’t have much to complain about that has to do with Blizzard… the biggest problems come from the player base. But that’s not the fault of Blizzard. I give Northrend and the Wrath of the Lich King expansion (so far) a 4.5 out of 5. I don’t think I can get any more disappointed, but if I have to change my score, I will post again and let you know why.

And just to note… I am going to be doing some mini-reviews on instances. I may do it with ALL instances in the game, but for sure with the Northrend instances. Look for these in the weeks and months ahead.

My Lord has called upon me to destroy the human scum, and I have answered…

That’s right, folks. I have also taken it upon myself to create a Death Knight. This probably isn’t news to anyone as 99% of the people who play World of Warcraft have made a Death Knight, but I just wanted to toss it out there that I have joined them.

While I am not going to spoil anything for anyone who hasn’t made one yet, I have to say that the quest line to create your Death Knight is one of the most amazing quest lines I’ve ever done in WoW. Sure, there are things that might make a few people squeamish, or there may be enough of that to cause people to refuse to play one, but overall it is a great story that really draws you in.

I will admit that I thought the ‘ending’ to the quest line was a bit of a cop-out. Again, trying not to spoil anything, but it seems the transition from one faction to another came far too easy. Not only that, but the pure hatred from others towards you was easily turned to gratitude with one statement from the Horde Warlord. Sure, it had to be done to keep the story going, but I think it could have been drawn out a little longer and made a lot more epic.

I’ll give more detail later on about my Death Knight as I get more into it, but for now I have to say… if you’ve not yet created one, GO MAKE ONE. The quest line alone is worth it.

And if you wanna come bug me in-game, I am Malpuro on the Deathwing server.

Venti is NOT Large.

Why don’t we put a telescope on the moon?

I especially like the part where the cop just sat there.

Ahhh I love these PSAs

Wow… Darwin award for the day.

FOX News: Gods Own Network

More new rules

Oh and Yahtzee reviews Fable 2